You know, so that you fall in every time. And they always manage to leave the toilet seat up.
When men have to take a shit, they take half an hour, minimum.ĭo they fall in every time? Or are they just relishing sitting down on the seat? Half the time, I could hear my male roommate watching Netflix on his iPad while he was on the toilet, like it was his own personal movie theater.Ĩ. Some other things I have found, inexplicably, in my apartment: a traffic cone, a "yield" road sign, a bra that didn't belong to me, and ample amounts of Silly String.ħ. Still don't know how this lemon ended up on my balcony.
You find strange things lying around with no clue how they ended up there. Yes, I'm speaking from personal experience.Ħ. Like when you're eating peanut butter straight from the jar with your greasy hair sticking up in odd places, and then you accidentally get peanut butter on your sheet mask. They will likely see you at your least charming. And you will probably end up partaking, too.ĥ. In fact, I'm fairly certain that most of my male roommates in the past never, ever cooked-they just ordered junk on Seamless. You witness the weirdest eating habits.īurritos for breakfast and pancakes for dinner. I can speak from experience when I say that after a while, they stop caring.ģ. Sure, at first my male roommates weren't too into my sexy poster of Benedict Cumberbatch or my "uteruses before duderuses" embroidery.
Like when you blearily get up in the morning and walk into the hallway in your underwear-and accidentally show them your whole ass. You forget that you live with guys at very inconvenient moments. Here are 13 lessons I learned from my dude roommates.
Whether you move in with a partner or have some male roommates you found on Craigslist-à la New Girl-living with guys is a learning experience. or strangers who happened to offer a room with cheap rent. Over the past several years, I've lived with several guys for several different reasons-they were my roommate's S.O. I am one such woman, and I can say that dudes are mysterious house mates. Here are 70 sex memes that capture the universal experience of gettin' it on.There are some aspects of the male brain that a woman can only truly comprehend after she shares a confined apartment space with a man. For some reason, a lot of them involve SpongeBob SquarePants, which is either brilliant, or horrifying or a little bit of column A, a little bit of column B. Whether it’s just you and Pornhub for the night, or you have finally taken the perfect nude and want to share it with the world, these pearls of wisdom (or should that be pearl necklaces of wisdom?) will speak to your soul. Why bother composing a lengthy play-by-play of last night’s adventures in the group chat when you can just copy-and-paste a meme and say “omg it me”?īelow you’ll find an expertly curated collection of insight and observations from some of the dirtiest minds on Twitter and Instagram which sum up exactly how it feels to be horny. But the internet says it all better, and more succinctly, and frankly, a damn sight funnier.
There are countless sexy books, movies, TV shows, and stand-up specials out there dedicated to the intricacies, etiquette and expectations of getting laid. Sometimes, all you can do is laugh about it. But don't worry the awkwardness is part of being a human who enjoys sex. While it would be nice for all our hookups to be set to romantic orchestral scores and culminate in simultaneous orgasms for all parties, the reality is that sex is often awkward, messy, and embarrassing (see: these people who injured themselves doing the deed). There's the sex that we see in movies.and then there's the sex that happens in real life.